A major aspect of Self Temple is the exploration of communication. How we communicate with our inner selves, our natural environment, and with other human beings. For that reason, the first ‘Dichotomy’ Series at Self Temple will focus on the communication of ‘truth’ and a big component of how people tear that down through ‘gaslighting.’
I love definitions! When something is ‘defined’ it shows there are parameters that presumably can’t be moved or changed to suit your needs. A hat is a hat and a cup is a cup! Of course, different objects can be used for other purposes, but at the end of the day, they are defined as what they are, “a covering for the head” and “a container to drink out of,” (Merriam-Webster Dictionary). So, what does that have to do with owning your truth and gaslighting? Let me explain.
What is the Truth?
One of the most famous ad-libbed lines in movie history is, “you can’t handle the truth,” searingly delivered by Jack Nicholson’s character in A Few Good Men (1992). He’s a witness for a military murder trial and the lawyer examining him, played by Tom Cruise, demands the truth of a circumstance beyond his comprehension. What ensues to this fiery moment in the scene shows how one person’s idea of a situation is not as cut or dry as it is for another. And, when one person has an unwavering or worse, unknown, idea of the facts, it can blur the lines of communication and leads to a thorough misunderstanding.
Ok, it’s definition time again. What is ‘truth’? As Merriam-Webster points out, it’s a matter of actuality and fact. “The state of being the case,” and “a body of true statements or propositions, real things, events, and facts.” Now, facts seem to be moving targets these days, which makes truth follow suit. Fact – gravity is a matter of physics and without this universal force of attraction between all things in the universe, we all would be floating in outer space. You trust gravity to keep your feet planted firmly on the ground. Here’s some truth, most of us take gravity for granted.
Another fact – the concept of ‘truth’ has many theories based on belief systems. What you believe and what someone else believes about a given topic or situation may be different based on many factors. However, each of you believes in your version of the ‘truth’ of the matter. In today’s world of shifting facts and broken belief systems, people can’t seem to find common ground without resorting to ‘their truth,’ whether it be based on fact or not. If one person says, “my truth is that the sky is purple at sunset,” and another person says “the sky is dark blue at sunset,” they both conceit to their ‘truth’ when in reality the actual color is none of those things, given smog, smoke, clouds or other weather conditions.
Your, or their ‘truth,’ takes meaning only to that person, which in turn becomes gaslighting when you make it seem that someone whose ‘truth’ you’re trying to downplay is not based in fact or reality. It’s a wicked game of trying to ‘out truth’ someone and it’s not cute. Gaslighting for those of you who don’t know is a form of psychological abuse or manipulation that sows seeds of doubt into someone, or a group of someones,’ to question their own beliefs, reality, or facts.
So, how do you own your truth? Let’s explore that here; and in doing so, own your truth without gaslighting? But, wait, how do you even know gaslighting is what’s happening?
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